1st post.

So this post will be a bit different from my last. I will try and keep up with my postings since it is a more serious adventure I am about to take on then study abroad.
I guess the choice came from the moment we left Israel when I was 9 years old.
People ask me now why would I want to join the IDF and move to Israel.
"isn't the middle east dangerous?"
"how could you leave your family?"
"will you be killing people?"

yes.
i am not really sure.
no.


while these questions might be silly they are on my mind constantly. In fact it is 11:48 pm NY time now and I am up thinking and worrying about the next two years of my service and I am not even in Israel yet.

I wish I could say I am a 100% at ease with this decision. That wouldn't be the truth. There is a lot of anxiety that comes with the prospects of removing yourself from friends and parents here in the United States.
I wish I could elaborate but I am not really sure where to begin.

Mostly since I told people I would be commencing on this process with Garin Tzabar - a group of lone soldiers that live on a kibbutz/moshav together when they are not on base and are there to be your family; I have felt at ease. This group not only gives me benefits that are added onto me being a lone soldier but also allows me to connect to really wonderful people my age that have been experiencing similar things.
I have never met people like me before. This sort of hybrid mix of beings. I have often and will often feel, I am sure; that I am an Israeli here and American there. But meeting these people makes me want to celebrate that not hide it.

So down to my worries and concerns however irrational they are:
1) I am worried about letting my parents down.
2) I am worried about having to do something that I will not morally agree with
3) I am worried about my physical nature and do not think I am yet prepared for Army life.
4) I am worried about not having the money to pay the group that I still owe.
5) I am worried that this might really be goodbye and I haven't laid all the cards out yet.
6) I am worried about not being accepted by Israelis
7) I am worried about being powerless
8) I am worried about my past catching up to me
9) I am worried about not having a positive life experience that will help me become a better person.
10) I am worried that I can't do this.




thus sums up my 10 worries. I would include the health of Elmo my cat in here but there doesn't seem an appropriate place to put that particular worry.


In any case at least this is some of what I am feeling. As the summer progresses and I get to August 14th I will be a mess. I am sure I will not sleep.

But I am also sure that no matter what I want to help the people I love, the country I love, and find a place to call home where being Michal is more then enough.

VENICE

This weekend was filled with festivities. I went to Venice Carnivale with my friends on Saturday. My first impressions of the city were not wonderful. It was a rainy and terribly cold day when we got there. It is impractical seeing as you have to take a boat everywhere you go. It is a very Italian mentality to take three hour to go to the grocery store. I would feel trapped there if I lived there. However, as the day progressed I felt more at ease and felt more enchanted by the gondolas and narrow streets with crowds of masked strangers and tinkle lights. I guess the biggest surprise after buying my mask (which I was horribly particular about) and seing the beautiful glass jewlery, was the way people interacted with one another. Through crowds of children dressed as chickens and adults in renissance clothing holding modern umbrellas, I saw a real comrodery. I am sure that it might have had to do with the confetti and wine buzz many were feeling but overall standing in a heard, watching a play in Italian (which I could not understand)I felt really far away from America.

This did not necessarily mean I was far from home, Home is just what you make it , and a feeling you get it could be from people or a plae but I felt connected and far at the same time. Under a sea of confetti, feathers, and lights I found myself finally alone in Italia.


Yours,
Michal

When does the death of a people stop being emotional and start being scientific? In my Pompeii class, taught by a very high strung archeologist.
I wonder how this class will be taught because I am interested in finding out more about how life was back then, but also a bit scared about her comparison of Pompeii to Florence, in the way that it was an average Italian town like this .

On a different note, today I went art supply shopping which robed my soul and money. E 140 for two classes ! dio mio : (
but I loved walking around and was horribly productive even with this cold. I ran into a bunch of gypsies and salesmen that I had overlooked when I first came here but the rain brought them out by the dozen.

I also found the Synagogue, which is beautiful dome like with blue decorations. It was closed but I walked into a local Kosher Veggie restaurant and talked to a very nice older man who told me when services were and told me that if I came on wed they have dinner for jewish students which i really want to go to.

in any case the weather and my cold have deterred my good mood for now. I shouldn't complain because after all what other city has a chocolate festival right outside my door, and gives me free roses for being "bella"
but in the end I am just going to curl up on this rainy friday read for a bit and get ready for VENICE CARNIVALE! TOMORROW : )

ciao,
Michali

exploring firenze

today is my first day in class . it is hard to concentrate when you have views like this surrounding you every day. I had my first Italian class and am soon heading to my painting class. I learned how to say my name is michal in italian. Every tuesday we will watch a film in Italian and pretend to know what it means. this week we are figuring out how to get to Venice Carnivale. I also want to start planning my trip everywhere. Overall I just know that things are going to work out. knock on wood.
Bed soon,
ciao
Michal

FIRENZE

Ciao Bellas!

I am in beautiful Florence. Waking up every day here seems like such a privilege and honor. It is still surreal to me that I walk on the same places the Medicis did. So far in my journey my flight was rather horrid, however being here has completely made up for it and I do not wish to return to the USA anytime soon.

I live in a wonderful appt with three other girls who are equally unique and lovely. We have to walk up about 55 stairs (but who is counting ; ) ) to get to our appt where it opens into a dinning area, big kitchen, two bedrooms, new bathroom, and a terrice that overlooks most of Firenze. It is breathtaking!

I have already seen the Duomo, (which is huge and classic and beautiful in every which way) , The uffizi Gallery ( Which is the most beautiful housing of Roman art I have ever witnessed) , and eaten the best Gellato. Thinking about it makes my mouth water right now.

I have gone to explore already and feel that I am completely justified in falling head over heals in love with Florence. This place holds so much history, passion, and art.

Running by the Arno river after my morning yoga I thought of the words that I would describe my whereabouts with. The words enchanting, historical, lovely, and charming come to mind.

But in the end,

The only word I can describe my stay here for the first week is Bella.

With lots of love,

Michal